I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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