Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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