You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
