They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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