After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
