Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
