Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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