You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize