I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
