I'm really into asian looking animals
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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