dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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