You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I will pee on everything he values.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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