you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
