Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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