He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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