Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
