We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
