You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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