My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
