i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Actions speak louder than pants.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
soo... how was my night?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
