my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
as a side note pls kill me
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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