Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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