Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
