why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
