Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
