sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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