I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
