I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
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In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
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I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I smell like Dick and happiness
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