I feel like abortions should bother me more
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
