I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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