what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
