You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
