my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
