Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
