She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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