that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Actions speak louder than pants.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
