his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
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This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
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Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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