stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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