thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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