Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
