Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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