Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i dont even know how to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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