Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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