just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
