you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
