I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
