All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
