Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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