Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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