I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
