I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I currently don't understand fingers.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
