How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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