i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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