The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
