I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize