absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
