Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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