You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
