I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Watching her eat just hurts me
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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