i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
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whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
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High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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