Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
