Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
