What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
