Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
