I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
