I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
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How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
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I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Im part way to drunk.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I did not marry a roomba.
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