Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
