dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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