it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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