Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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