Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
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you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
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And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
BRING THE BAGELS
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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