just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
